How’s everyone holdin' up? T3G's therapeutic mental health and general chat thread.

[Lava road]

Our education systems never taught us “How to live”. “ How to work” How to be a Parent, rise kids.” “How to invest and prepare for the future.”

I feel lucky my parents were good people. Rise us with patience. Guided us to do the right things, be honest, trustworthy, fair, and work hard. My parents ( step Dad) were great example’s!

I know welfare my Mom raise four very , very young boys, my dad was never around Air Force (gambler), got divorce. My. Mom remarried and my step Dad change our lives.

Investing and preparing for retirement. I Learn the hard way. Lucky companies had 401’s, but I never understood the value and how important.

My last job I got lay off. Decided to collect my Social Security . I took a part of it and decided to do my owning investing, by buying stocks! It change my life! And my way of thinking too.

Today seeing the retirement funds grow! Knowing that re- investing is paying off. Did I lose some off course.
But the “stock game” is driving me forward! Will I see the success? It’s growing like a tree, branching out, soon I hope the fruits will be plentiful!
Aloha

 

[solscooter]

3 books that change my life. Old but the principles still works today!
1st- “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living “. By Dale Carnegie
2nd- “ How to Win Friends and Influence People” By Dale Carnegie
3rd- “Think and Grow Rich” By Napoleon Hill

Lonely, Depressed, Poor, all is a frame of mind.
I don’t make many promises, but “I Promise you if read these books, re-read them till you understand it!
It will change your life. I did for me.
Aloha

its not just a state of mind............... this invalidates all of the people in here's experiences. im sorry but I dont appreciate your comment at all. reading a book will not change what we go through on a daily basis. I've tied to get through all of them you listed and found them to be horse crap.

 

[Tyler]

I do agree that reading a book will not fix us.

 

[Berserker__taco]

Havent really been active here for the last month and a half. A lot has been going on. Like massive loads of shit. Hanging in there but the stress is epic. On April 6th a RV pulling a Chevy pickup came flying down my road. The fucking tow bar comes undone and an unmaned 2500 ghosts thru a cornfield, thru the wall of our attached garage, thru the breezeway, and into our kitchen. Luckily no one was home. If my wife hadn't been held up at work running 20 min later than usual she would have been dead.

For weeks after I got no sleep. Every night I'd have nightmares of finding my wife and kids dead and lifeless in gory detail. I'd wake up screaming and sobbing. My wife didnt sleep either bc of it. Now I find out the guy doesnt have enough insurance to cover what he did so mine is stepping up. All good there but now I have two companies lol balling the costs to cover their asses which pisses me off to no end. And to top it off COVID has pretty much ruined my guiding career. Some here may know that I'm a hunting guide up in Alaska. So now I'm trying to shift gears and figure out a way to make the extra 20k a year that I would make for the 1.5 months I'd be gone doing that.

We have a good support system and things could be way worse. My parents have enough room for us to stay until we can get back in the house. But its taxing. High miles driving between work and the house and where we are staying. Hoping someone doesnt take notice that someone isn't home on that country road and help themselves, new way to earn income etc.

 

[Bird dog]

Havent really been active here for the last month and a half. A lot has been going on. Like massive loads of shit. Hanging in there but the stress is epic. On April 6th a RV pulling a Chevy pickup came flying down my road. The fucking tow bar comes undone and an unmaned 2500 ghosts thru a cornfield, thru the wall of our attached garage, thru the breezeway, and into our kitchen. Luckily no one was home. If my wife hadn't been held up at work running 20 min later than usual she would have been dead.
View attachment 53739View attachment 53740View attachment 53741

For weeks after I got no sleep. Every night I'd have nightmares of finding my wife and kids dead and lifeless in gory detail. I'd wake up screaming and sobbing. My wife didnt sleep either bc of it. Now I find out the guy doesnt have enough insurance to cover what he did so mine is stepping up. All good there but now I have two companies lol balling the costs to cover their asses which pisses me off to no end. And to top it off COVID has pretty much ruined my guiding career. Some here may know that I'm a hunting guide up in Alaska. So now I'm trying to shift gears and figure out a way to make the extra 20k a year that I would make for the 1.5 months I'd be gone doing that.

We have a good support system and things could be way worse. My parents have enough room for us to stay until we can get back in the house. But its taxing. High miles driving between work and the house and where we are staying. Hoping someone doesnt take notice that someone isn't home on that country road and help themselves, new way to earn income etc.

Thoughts and prayers .

 

[solscooter]

Havent really been active here for the last month and a half. A lot has been going on. Like massive loads of shit. Hanging in there but the stress is epic. On April 6th a RV pulling a Chevy pickup came flying down my road. The fucking tow bar comes undone and an unmaned 2500 ghosts thru a cornfield, thru the wall of our attached garage, thru the breezeway, and into our kitchen. Luckily no one was home. If my wife hadn't been held up at work running 20 min later than usual she would have been dead.
View attachment 53739View attachment 53740View attachment 53741

For weeks after I got no sleep. Every night I'd have nightmares of finding my wife and kids dead and lifeless in gory detail. I'd wake up screaming and sobbing. My wife didnt sleep either bc of it. Now I find out the guy doesnt have enough insurance to cover what he did so mine is stepping up. All good there but now I have two companies lol balling the costs to cover their asses which pisses me off to no end. And to top it off COVID has pretty much ruined my guiding career. Some here may know that I'm a hunting guide up in Alaska. So now I'm trying to shift gears and figure out a way to make the extra 20k a year that I would make for the 1.5 months I'd be gone doing that.

We have a good support system and things could be way worse. My parents have enough room for us to stay until we can get back in the house. But its taxing. High miles driving between work and the house and where we are staying. Hoping someone doesnt take notice that someone isn't home on that country road and help themselves, new way to earn income etc.

Damn man. That is a shit ton to shoulder. Positive thoughts your way

 

[Tyler]

Havent really been active here for the last month and a half. A lot has been going on. Like massive loads of shit. Hanging in there but the stress is epic. On April 6th a RV pulling a Chevy pickup came flying down my road. The fucking tow bar comes undone and an unmaned 2500 ghosts thru a cornfield, thru the wall of our attached garage, thru the breezeway, and into our kitchen. Luckily no one was home. If my wife hadn't been held up at work running 20 min later than usual she would have been dead.
View attachment 53739View attachment 53740View attachment 53741

For weeks after I got no sleep. Every night I'd have nightmares of finding my wife and kids dead and lifeless in gory detail. I'd wake up screaming and sobbing. My wife didnt sleep either bc of it. Now I find out the guy doesnt have enough insurance to cover what he did so mine is stepping up. All good there but now I have two companies lol balling the costs to cover their asses which pisses me off to no end. And to top it off COVID has pretty much ruined my guiding career. Some here may know that I'm a hunting guide up in Alaska. So now I'm trying to shift gears and figure out a way to make the extra 20k a year that I would make for the 1.5 months I'd be gone doing that.

We have a good support system and things could be way worse. My parents have enough room for us to stay until we can get back in the house. But its taxing. High miles driving between work and the house and where we are staying. Hoping someone doesnt take notice that someone isn't home on that country road and help themselves, new way to earn income etc.

Holy shit. I don't even know what else to say but the same reaction with the nightmares would be something I would get too. Thankfully she wasn't home of course. Is there any other silver lining to it? Maybe a "free" renovation if that was ever something you guys had in your future?

 

[Tyler]

I haven't been on much recently I've been going through some nasty shit lately. I handed my guns over to a buddy of mine for safe keeping...not because I actively want to do anything but I got to the point where I felt like "I truly don't know how much longer I can handle this" and that was enough for me to be concerned about doing something stupid in a moment of depression mixed with irrationality which for me unfortunately tend to go hand-in-hand. This prompted me to (as much as I didn't like the idea of it) start seeing a psychologist who deemed me messed up enough to start seeing a psychiatrist.

Within the first appointment they diagnosed me with dysthymia (chronic depression ) and said I also seem to show clear signs of having ADD. Somehow this is just being recognized after 27 years...so I have to get tested now to see if I do. I've honestly wondered about it considering I struggle very much to focus on and do things that I don't want to do but if I'm interested in doing even the most boring of tasks I can get it done just fine. There's a few others reasons as well, but basically - I've had my suspicions and it seems that I wasn't far off based off of what they are suggesting may be wrong with me.

Oh I 100% have it. Diagnosed and everything. I used to take meds when I was younger for it but it gave me really bad anxiety and made my depression worse. I was always super quiet and shy, never talked unless I had to talk. Eventually I stopped taking it (mainly cause I hate pills in general) and just learned how to control it when I need to focus. Every now and then it's hard to focus, especially at work... My grades got (somewhat) better, made a lot of friends, etc. I've noticed when I get really stressed out (which is all the time at this point...) my "ADHD kicks in" as I call it and I can't focus. I'll go from one thing to another faster than a blink of an eye. One second I'll be talking about, Idk lets say the Bruins game and how they lost to Carolina when they shouldn't of been knocked out of the playoffs... then I'll see like a nice car drive by (like a Charger or another nice Taco or something) and I'll switch my focus on that, completely disregarding hockey in general. It's been getting a lot worse lately.. Bad enough where I'm starting to get memory issues. Like I'd remember talking about the Bruins then go back to that topic, but now, it seems like I forget the entire conversation and just repeat everything over again. At least that's what my gf started to notice..

Me too for mostly all of what you both said. The reason I asked about it is because I recently started reading through the ADHD reddit: r/ADHD (https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/). It's actually crazy how many side effects of ADHD there is. But what's crazier is that a lot of people lived with them into their 30s+ and never knew they had it (me). I like reading through that reddit because of how relatable a lot of the stuff is. It feels better knowing even your most obscure and seemingly minimal issues are actually familiar to a lot of other people.

 

[TCOTUE]

Me too for mostly all of what you both said. The reason I asked about it is because I recently started reading through the ADHD reddit: r/ADHD (https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/). It's actually crazy how many side effects of ADHD there is. But what's crazier is that a lot of people lived with them into their 30s+ and never knew they had it (me). I like reading through that reddit because of how relatable a lot of the stuff is. It feels better knowing even your most obscure and seemingly minimal issues are actually familiar to a lot of other people.

I've tried reading reddit, but to me it super disorganized. I'm a fairly organized person.

 

[itsthex]

Havent really been active here for the last month and a half. A lot has been going on. Like massive loads of shit. Hanging in there but the stress is epic. On April 6th a RV pulling a Chevy pickup came flying down my road. The fucking tow bar comes undone and an unmaned 2500 ghosts thru a cornfield, thru the wall of our attached garage, thru the breezeway, and into our kitchen. Luckily no one was home. If my wife hadn't been held up at work running 20 min later than usual she would have been dead.
View attachment 53739View attachment 53740View attachment 53741

For weeks after I got no sleep. Every night I'd have nightmares of finding my wife and kids dead and lifeless in gory detail. I'd wake up screaming and sobbing. My wife didnt sleep either bc of it. Now I find out the guy doesnt have enough insurance to cover what he did so mine is stepping up. All good there but now I have two companies lol balling the costs to cover their asses which pisses me off to no end. And to top it off COVID has pretty much ruined my guiding career. Some here may know that I'm a hunting guide up in Alaska. So now I'm trying to shift gears and figure out a way to make the extra 20k a year that I would make for the 1.5 months I'd be gone doing that.

We have a good support system and things could be way worse. My parents have enough room for us to stay until we can get back in the house. But its taxing. High miles driving between work and the house and where we are staying. Hoping someone doesnt take notice that someone isn't home on that country road and help themselves, new way to earn income etc.

WOW. This is insane. So sorry to see this happened to you. A true insight to the carelessness of people.. I'm happy you and your family are OK but this is definitely devastating. Good luck with the recovery and I hope it comes quick!

 

[Tyler]

I've tried reading reddit, but to me it super disorganized. I'm a fairly organized person.

Do you have an iPhone?

 

[Berserker__taco]

Holy shit. I don't even know what else to say but the same reaction with the nightmares would be something I would get too. Thankfully she wasn't home of course. Is there any other silver lining to it? Maybe a "free" renovation if that was ever something you guys had in your future?

The silver lining is definitely the fact that no one was hurt. We had plans on renovating that garage to be another room in the future. Now we're just forced to do it. Insurance will cover the damaged portions and lost poperty but we'll have to front the rest. Wasnt exactly ready to do it just yet but it is what it is. Being away from the work shop is a pain. I have four M416 trailers that need restored and it's taking forever now. 2 are are already sold and need delivered when finished. The truck destroyed the Stihl 088 I use on my chainsaw mill to make lumber and slab furniture so I lost income there as well lol. It's a total rat's nest but we'll make it. Just need to vent. Having to walk away from guiding is prob the worst part.

 

[TCOTUE]

Do you have an iPhone?

I do!

 

[Mike_570]

Ah, man. Welcome to the club. Five medications later and I'm convinced they don't work for me. Good on you for recognizing that you might not be very safe with firearms around the house, many people aren't that self-aware. That's certainly one reason I don't have any, but then I've got a collection of knives and regularly use potassium cyanide for work and hobby, so I'm still surrounded by those permanent "solutions" to a temporary problem. The real issue is it can feel like a permanent problem, which really lowers the bar when it comes finding a solution to the depression.

I'm still feeling the effects of going off my meds a few weeks ago (antidepressant withdrawal syndrome). Don't worry, this was under medical supervision with a titration schedule and everything. But coming down from a very high dose is a rough ride. I'm still having brain zaps but my mood is stabilizing and I have an appetite again. I'm riding my bike to work and focusing on hobbies to boost my mood and I'll see how this goes. But I'm certain that for me, being on meds is more of a liability. At best I feel the side effects, and at worst withdrawal if I miss a dose. It just wasn't worth it. After I ride this out I'm going to look into TMS as it's the only intervention that holds promise for me, but it's relatively new for this and I'm hoping my insurance covers it.

Mike, hang in there. Depression is one of those things that's easily invisible if someone wants it to be. Honestly, the one thing depression taught me was how to hide it. Not a good thing.

I've still been kinda distancing myself from my phone and social media, but I just saw your reply and wanted to say thanks brother, I genuinely appreciate your reply. Even if it doesn't fix the issue at hand, it does help knowing I'm not the only one struggling with this. Stay strong man.

 

[Tyler]

The silver lining is definitely the fact that no one was hurt.

I just reread my post and want to let you know, my silver lining question wasn’t meant to devalue no one being hurt. I feel like it might’ve read like that, seeing it in hindsight now.

 

[Tyler]

I do!

The iOS app called “Apollo” is the way to do it. The Reddit website absolutely sucks. But using an app like that, makes it less confusing.

If you’re interested in Reddit, I can help you learn via private messages. If not, don’t worry—you won’t be missing out on much positivity, lol.

 

[Bombero152]

Honestly. Therapy is a huge benefit. Talking to a professional can do wonders. Many of the guys in my profession swear by a process called EMDR. It basically helps you reprogram your brain and move beyond whatever funk your dealing with. Might be worth you looking into.

EMDR is an amazing tool, along with cognitive therapy. There is a new or newer type of therapy called ART, Accelerated Resolution Therapy. Accomplishes much of the same reprocessing, the one difference is that you don't have to relive the incidents that got you there in the first place. As a recently retired Battalion Chief from a busy fire department, in my 37 years I saw and dealt with a lot of trauma, the last thing I want to do is relive it all. ART allows you to basically reframe your thoughts and allows you to move them into memory. I see great benefit in this especially with our Vets and public safety people. Stay well, stay healthy and live your life with a purpose.

 

[Berserker__taco]

I just reread my post and want to let you know, my silver lining question wasn’t meant to devalue no one being hurt. I feel like it might’ve read like that, seeing it in hindsight now.

Oh no worries man you're good. I picked up what you were throwing down.

 

[Bird dog]

It is officially hotter than a freshly fucked fox in a Florida forest fire here in AZ. Even if I could find some motivation to work on the the truck, it’s to damn hot.

 

[Tyler]

It is officially hotter than a freshly fucked fox in a Florida forest fire here in AZ. Even if I could find some motivation to work on the the truck, it’s to damn hot.

Last year, we grabbed a hotel near Tucson for a shower/laundry reset during van life. The shower wasn’t usable because the water was too hot to handle. I called the front desk to tell them that I think the shower water is broken. Then I learned it’s not that it was broken, it’s that the water itself is that hot before it even gets to the shower and there’s nothing they can do about that.

 

[Bird dog]

Last year, we grabbed a hotel near Tucson for a shower/laundry reset during van life. The shower wasn’t usable because the water was too hot to handle. I called the front desk to tell them that I think the shower water is broken. Then I learned it’s not that it was broken, it’s that the water itself is that hot before it even gets to the shower and there’s nothing they can do about that.

Thankfully we don’t have that problem, so next time you’re in the area our shower is available.

 

[solscooter]

Tavel helps my depression. Camper vaning for the week. I do get tired of having to haul my grand assortment of required meds everywhere. You always get weird looks when taking insulin in public

 

[TCOTUE]

View attachment 54369Tavel helps my depression. Camper vaning for the week. I do get tired of having to haul my grand assortment of required meds everywhere. You always get weird looks when taking insulin in public

Wait another diabetic? I always tell people who look weird at me "if I break out the spoon and the lighter, you should be worried. If not mind your business"

 

[solscooter]

Wait another diabetic? I always tell people who look weird at me "if I break out the spoon and the lighter, you should be worried. If not mind your business"

My endo calls it type 1.5. Insulin dependent. Sucks

 

[TCOTUE]

My endo calls it type 1.5. Insulin dependent. Sucks

Always been told I was Type 1, but a recent test at my endo she is calling me a insulin resistant type 2. Which I'm sure is the same thing as you. Are you on a pump? I highly recommend Omnipod, I'm on Dash right now about to move over to Omnipod5. I already have a dexcom.

 

[solscooter]

Always been told I was Type 1, but a recent test at my endo she is calling me a insulin resistant type 2. Which I'm sure is the same thing as you. Are you on a pump? I highly recommend Omnipod, I'm on Dash right now about to move over to Omnipod5. I already have a dexcom.

Yeah probably the same thing. Nah no pump. Managing with a daily dose of basalgar. And metformin. And a weekly dose of ozempic. Got my a1c down to 6. Using freestyle libre.

 

[solscooter]

caught COVID. feel like absolute shit. I'm sure it was somewhere on the trip.

 

[TCOTUE]

Just had an informative phone conversation with KU about my transplant. I finally finished all of my testing for Kidney and Pancreas transplant back in May. Been getting the run around for the last month 1/2 on who has what records, and what records they still needed. Finally got somewhere today. Called the VA (for the 3rd time this week) to check status, they advised they sent everything May 31st and resent it all again a couple weeks ago. They advised I call KU to discuss options on how to get them my records. We'll I'll be damned if I didn't call and they had received some of them. The nice lady on the end of the phone said they were reviewing what was sent, and said they would reach out with any further questions. 20 min later she calls back to do the initial phone interview, took maybe 15 min. Dozens of questions, easy enough. We talked for a few about what they were missing and she recommended I call the hospital and request my records for myself. Again easy enough, go online, fill out document, sign it and now I wait 5 business days for it to come to my email box.

Shortly after the nice lady conversation I get a call from KU again. Awful service at work dropped the call, so I call back. She asks about recent bloodwork that was completed, then proceeds to tell me "I'm sorry sir, you are not a candidate for a pancreas. Would you like to be on the list for just a kidney?" Me awe struck, I agree to her terms.

So what's it all mean? Kidney/Pancreas list is arguably the shortest list you can be on. Usually once officially listed could hours/days and you'll get the phone call. Since I'm no longer eligible, the kidney list is MUCH longer. Could be in terms of YEARS. I'm exhausted, physically and mentally. Dialysis is not fun, and I've been having issues the last couple weeks. I'm tired, very little sleep and I'm still working a full time job. I'm trying to hold all of my leave for when my transplant happens. Soooo ughhhhhhhh anyone wanna donate a kidney? A- blood type lol

 

[solscooter]

wow wth. sorry man

 

[Biohazard]

Just had an informative phone conversation with KU about my transplant. I finally finished all of my testing for Kidney and Pancreas transplant back in May. Been getting the run around for the last month 1/2 on who has what records, and what records they still needed. Finally got somewhere today. Called the VA (for the 3rd time this week) to check status, they advised they sent everything May 31st and resent it all again a couple weeks ago. They advised I call KU to discuss options on how to get them my records. We'll I'll be damned if I didn't call and they had received some of them. The nice lady on the end of the phone said they were reviewing what was sent, and said they would reach out with any further questions. 20 min later she calls back to do the initial phone interview, took maybe 15 min. Dozens of questions, easy enough. We talked for a few about what they were missing and she recommended I call the hospital and request my records for myself. Again easy enough, go online, fill out document, sign it and now I wait 5 business days for it to come to my email box.

Shortly after the nice lady conversation I get a call from KU again. Awful service at work dropped the call, so I call back. She asks about recent bloodwork that was completed, then proceeds to tell me "I'm sorry sir, you are not a candidate for a pancreas. Would you like to be on the list for just a kidney?" Me awe struck, I agree to her terms.

So what's it all mean? Kidney/Pancreas list is arguably the shortest list you can be on. Usually once officially listed could hours/days and you'll get the phone call. Since I'm no longer eligible, the kidney list is MUCH longer. Could be in terms of YEARS. I'm exhausted, physically and mentally. Dialysis is not fun, and I've been having issues the last couple weeks. I'm tired, very little sleep and I'm still working a full time job. I'm trying to hold all of my leave for when my transplant happens. Soooo ughhhhhhhh anyone wanna donate a kidney? A- blood type lol

So. Don't be too discouraged. A pancreas transplant is not a cure-all. Your own pancreas having problems can be a complete disaster, much worse than what you're going through now, and a transplanted pancreas problem is catastrophic. A transplanted pancreas is much more prone to arterial inflow problems, venous outflow problems, and leaking of the duodenal-bowel connection necessary for a pancreas transplant, all of which lead to pancreatitis (of the transplanted pancreas), and terrible, unremitting, life long pain.

Your wait for a kidney may be longer, but once it's in, they really do great, with very few complications. Will be praying for a successful and quick kidney to become available.

And fyi, for credibility's sake, while I'm not a transplant surgeon by trade, during my general surgery training I performed >30 kidney transplants, 12 livers, 3 kidney-pancs, and 3 hearts, so I've been around the block a few times in the transplant world.