I have a question for you guys. A very personal question.
I'm 30 and have one sibling. My sister is 21. She works with a dude that is also 30. They hangout but they're not together and he twists her emotions with questionable signals. The age difference is uncomfortable for me but that isn't the worst of it.
Recently, this dude got into a drunken bar fight with another guy, with my sister there. Then, my sister, him, and maybe a few others ended up at his house. My sister was holding his phone while he was still on his tough guy act and he ended up grabbing her arm with a push/pull motion to get his phone from her. I believe she fell down. The next day she vomited 4 times because of how upset she was at the thought of what happened.
I found out the next day over the phone and couldn't finish the phone call. I literally started convulsing. I had what I would self-diagnose as an adrenaline attack. My mind was racing weighing the consequences of what might happen next. I knew if I showed up to this dude's house, I wouldn't be able to control myself and the beating wouldn't stop, and he could end up with brain damage and I would obviously be in jail. I'm not trying to sound tough at all; this is just what my reality was. I'm a very relaxed dude and it's very hard for me to get angry at anything. But a dude physically (and/or mentally) abusing a woman is one of my triggers, especially after how much of that I had to directly intervene in the Marine Corps.
So, there I was, convulsing, not able to breathe right, almost passed out a few times, and did end up blacking out meaning I don't remember the entirely of the 2 hours I was in that state of mind. I understood I couldn't go to jail over this as it would fuck up Paige and I's daily life and it would probably not make my sister feel any better. I felt useless because what am I supposed to do, realistically?
Paige and I have given my sister a lot of advice regarding scumbags like this dude and the various red flags to watch out for early in a friendship/relationship. But my sister continues to associate with this dude despite her constantly going to bed upset with whatever his bullshit was that day.
What would you have done? I can't stop thinking about that night due to her still associating with him.