How’s everyone holdin' up? T3G's therapeutic mental health and general chat thread.

[Tyler]

I am making myself work on the truck. It’s colder than shit out but I think I need the tinker time. I’m falling more and more into depression and I think doing something with the truck will help. Even though it’s like 10 degrees outside.

I don’t get cold easily in regular situations but when I’m tinkering and already getting frustrated by running into problems, the cold just makes the frustration worse. I wish I had a heated shop. Or even a regular garage I could fit the truck in to use a Buddy Heater. That would be therapeutic.

 

[UnpavedPreferred]

230 plus hours below 0 this month, according to the news. February is always the worst month for me. I feel cold, even in the house with the heat on. Feeling miserable and no motivation to go hiking or running. We have a trip set up for next month to get somewhere warmer but also avoid people. Some moments, the trip is just around the corner. Other moments I wonder if I can keep it together to get through the end of the day.

 

[Wellspring]

Doing well. I'll feel better after I get my second Moderna vaccination on Monday 2/22.

 

[Hubermr]

I don’t get cold easily in regular situations but when I’m tinkering and already getting frustrated by running into problems, the cold just makes the frustration worse. I wish I had a heated shop. Or even a regular garage I could fit the truck in to use a Buddy Heater. That would be therapeutic.

I’m a heavy set guy so I barely get cold but I learned the hard way my truck doesn’t fit in the garage. It is what it is but if I don’t do something to occupy my mind I’m afraid of the places it will go.

 

[Tyler]

Paige and I pulled out our bikes because the weather was nice today. We didn’t ride far and it was hard as hell because we don’t really ride anymore. But it does feel like a small mental victory that we actually got out there to do something healthy for once.

 

[Sangi]

I find I'm lacking the motivation to do much recently. The cold doesn't help either. Unfortunately I'm taking it out on the truck by neglecting it. The thing getting me through it right now is I am hyping myself up for a big 50k tune/clean/fix/modify-up. I'm just past 49k miles so everyday I tell myself, "Ok, get pumped for 50K, This trucks gonna get a ton of TLC and its gonna look and feel fantastic!" It's weird because I love the cold and hate the heat, but obviously this years been crazy for everyone.

Never thought I'd be excited for 50k miles lmao

 

[Tyler]

I find I'm lacking the motivation to do much recently. The cold doesn't help either. Unfortunately I'm taking it out on the truck by neglecting it. The thing getting me through it right now is I am hyping myself up for a big 50k tune/clean/fix/modify-up. I'm just past 49k miles so everyday I tell myself, "Ok, get pumped for 50K, This trucks gonna get a ton of TLC and its gonna look and feel fantastic!" It's weird because I love the cold and hate the heat, but obviously this years been crazy for everyone.

Never thought I'd be excited for 50k miles lmao

I’m neglecting the hell out of mine too. I can’t wait to tune it back up. You can feel it them drive better after they’ve been taken care of, lol. It’s like my truck has a flu right now.

 

[Poppybux]

Yes, it's been a tough year but my daughter had these precious boys, Feb 11, 2020 and they have been a blessing. It's been great to have them during this time since our normal circle of friends and family have been forcefully reduced due to Covid

 

[Tyler]

Yes, it's been a tough year but my daughter had these precious boys, Feb 11, 2020 and they have been a blessing. It's been great to have them during this time since our normal circle of friends and family have been forcefully reduced due to Covid

Congrats!

 

[Tyler]

I have a question for you guys. A very personal question.

I'm 30 and have one sibling. My sister is 21. She works with a dude that is also 30. They hangout but they're not together and he twists her emotions with questionable signals. The age difference is uncomfortable for me but that isn't the worst of it.

Recently, this dude got into a drunken bar fight with another guy, with my sister there. Then, my sister, him, and maybe a few others ended up at his house. My sister was holding his phone while he was still on his tough guy act and he ended up grabbing her arm with a push/pull motion to get his phone from her. I believe she fell down. The next day she vomited 4 times because of how upset she was at the thought of what happened.

I found out the next day over the phone and couldn't finish the phone call. I literally started convulsing. I had what I would self-diagnose as an adrenaline attack. My mind was racing weighing the consequences of what might happen next. I knew if I showed up to this dude's house, I wouldn't be able to control myself and the beating wouldn't stop, and he could end up with brain damage and I would obviously be in jail. I'm not trying to sound tough at all; this is just what my reality was. I'm a very relaxed dude and it's very hard for me to get angry at anything. But a dude physically (and/or mentally) abusing a woman is one of my triggers, especially after how much of that I had to directly intervene in the Marine Corps.

So, there I was, convulsing, not able to breathe right, almost passed out a few times, and did end up blacking out meaning I don't remember the entirely of the 2 hours I was in that state of mind. I understood I couldn't go to jail over this as it would fuck up Paige and I's daily life and it would probably not make my sister feel any better. I felt useless because what am I supposed to do, realistically?

Paige and I have given my sister a lot of advice regarding scumbags like this dude and the various red flags to watch out for early in a friendship/relationship. But my sister continues to associate with this dude despite her constantly going to bed upset with whatever his bullshit was that day.


What would you have done? I can't stop thinking about that night due to her still associating with him.

 

[Berserker__taco]

I remember beating a lot of ass defending my younger brother. But that was back in the late 90s in high school. Now days it seems everyone is a sue crazy cry baby when it comes to altercations. The days of using pain to remind someone it's not ok to behave the way they do are pretty much over. It was a much simpler time when you could correct someone's attitude and outlook with a right hook, headbutt, or sleeper hold. Back then you dusted yourselves off and went your separate ways. Today you have cameras and lawsuits

You did the right thing not confronting him. I get the same way protecting my family but know which battles should be fought. I can do more for them out of jail than in jail so I've learned to bite my tongue a lot. It doesnt mean you still cant scare his ass off.

I wouldnt worry too much about an age difference so long as the guy has his shit together. My wife is 11yrs younger than me and we get along wonderfully. People are honestly shocked when they find out the gap since you can't tell otherwise. That said... tell her to keep an eye on those older guys who dont have their shit together. The one that's a broke dead beat and/or materialistic, full of himself, has an ego, loud or needs to be the center of attention... those are going to be trouble for her bc they haven't learned to settle down yet.

 

[Tyler]

I remember beating a lot of ass defending my younger brother. But that was back in the late 90s in high school. Now days it seems everyone is a sue crazy cry baby when it comes to altercations. The days of using pain to remind someone it's not ok to behave the way they do are pretty much over. It was a much simpler time when you could correct someone's attitude and outlook with a right hook, headbutt, or sleeper hold. Back then you dusted yourselves off and went your separate ways. Today you have cameras and lawsuits

You did the right thing not confronting him. I get the same way protecting my family but know which battles should be fought. I can do more for them out of jail than in jail so I've learned to bite my tongue a lot. It doesnt mean you still cant scare his ass off.

I wouldnt worry too much about an age difference so long as the guy has his shit together. My wife is 11yrs younger than me and we get along wonderfully. People are honestly shocked when they find out the gap since you can't tell otherwise. That said... tell her to keep an eye on those older guys who dont have their shit together. The one that's materialistic, full of himself, has an ego, loud or needs to be the center of attention... those are going to be trouble for her bc they haven't learned to settle down yet.

Thank you.

And yeah, the age difference itself isn't necessarily a bad thing. But this dude works in a local pub that is 5 minutes from his house. His hobbies include, and are definitely limited to: drinking at the bar that he works after his shift ends.

 

[Berserker__taco]

Thank you.

And yeah, the age difference itself isn't necessarily a bad thing. But this dude works in a local pub that is 5 minutes from his house. His hobbies include, and are definitely limited to: drinking at the bar that he works after his shift ends.

Sounds like a dead beat bar fly. Those guys are no good. Maybe he'll learn a lesson on his walk home one night

 

[NMBruce]

I don’t think the age has much to do with it, an ass is an ass.

Do you have kids? If you do,would you sister want a guy like this around her nieces or nephews? I am guessing not, so why would she find it acceptable to put herself in that situation? Her being old and able to handle herself, doesn’t cut it here, because if you can’t deal with every problem and try to put it off as he had a bad day, etc is just lying to oneself. She knows when she goes to bed upset, she needs to start looking in the mirror for what that person thinks is ok. Life is too short to live it in pain or fear

 

[Sigs]

What would you have done? I can't stop thinking about that night due to her still associating with him.

You were right to be upset, but definitely gotta keep a cooler head that the idiot that she was dealing with. The guy is clearly not going to learn anything anymore, he's going to be a loser even if he gets has a near-death experience. At worst, you'll end up with a guy that has nothing to lose, coming after your family. It's good to hear that nobody was physically hurt, at least.

Your sister has plenty to learn from it, make sure to talk to her about it. It seems like a good lesson in what to look for in people, and which traits to stay the fuck away from. A dude in the bar that has nothing better to do but get drunk is a pretty good person to keep some distance between.

 

[Biohazard]

Agree with the other guys, you were right to hold off confrontation. I'd mentally write the guy off as a deadbeat and not waste mental time or physical energy on him...and definitely not potential jail time.
Your sister needs rescuing, but probably not from him. She need rescuing from herself and her ideas of who to date. If I were you I would try to have a "listening ear," and an open spare bed, and willingness to let her hang out for a long period of time as she gets away from that guy and group of friends.

 

[Tyler]

Agree with the other guys, you were right to hold off confrontation. I'd mentally write the guy off as a deadbeat and not waste mental time or physical energy on him...and definitely not potential jail time.
Your sister needs rescuing, but probably not from him. She need rescuing from herself and her ideas of who to date. If I were you I would try to have a "listening ear," and an open spare bed, and willingness to let her hang out for a long period of time as she gets away from that guy and group of friends.

She really does. She needs a lot of that and a lot of other guidance. But we try to give it to her great advice and it just doesn't click with her.

 

[Poppybux]

I totally agree, write this guy off and don't stop giving baby sister your good advice. One day it will register in her brain that big brother is right, she does deserve better.

 

[Hubermr]

I have a question for you guys. A very personal question.

I'm 30 and have one sibling. My sister is 21. She works with a dude that is also 30. They hangout but they're not together and he twists her emotions with questionable signals. The age difference is uncomfortable for me but that isn't the worst of it.

Recently, this dude got into a drunken bar fight with another guy, with my sister there. Then, my sister, him, and maybe a few others ended up at his house. My sister was holding his phone while he was still on his tough guy act and he ended up grabbing her arm with a push/pull motion to get his phone from her. I believe she fell down. The next day she vomited 4 times because of how upset she was at the thought of what happened.

I found out the next day over the phone and couldn't finish the phone call. I literally started convulsing. I had what I would self-diagnose as an adrenaline attack. My mind was racing weighing the consequences of what might happen next. I knew if I showed up to this dude's house, I wouldn't be able to control myself and the beating wouldn't stop, and he could end up with brain damage and I would obviously be in jail. I'm not trying to sound tough at all; this is just what my reality was. I'm a very relaxed dude and it's very hard for me to get angry at anything. But a dude physically (and/or mentally) abusing a woman is one of my triggers, especially after how much of that I had to directly intervene in the Marine Corps.

So, there I was, convulsing, not able to breathe right, almost passed out a few times, and did end up blacking out meaning I don't remember the entirely of the 2 hours I was in that state of mind. I understood I couldn't go to jail over this as it would fuck up Paige and I's daily life and it would probably not make my sister feel any better. I felt useless because what am I supposed to do, realistically?

Paige and I have given my sister a lot of advice regarding scumbags like this dude and the various red flags to watch out for early in a friendship/relationship. But my sister continues to associate with this dude despite her constantly going to bed upset with whatever his bullshit was that day.


What would you have done? I can't stop thinking about that night due to her still associating with him.

So I had to step away from this for a moment. I understand your pain my wife has previous relationships with guys like that. It still breaks my heart when I go to grab something and she’s near by she will flinch. Mind you I’m not that guy I’m the opposite. Here’s how I see it. It came with her family, her mother did it, her sister did it, your sister is doing it. It’s difficult to be the guy on the side out of the relationship remaining calm and collected for her. But SHE has to want it. SHE has to be the one to say you know what I’m done with these assholes and I want better for myself. It’s one thing to lecture someone about it or tell them about the flags but until they can see it and want it for themself you’re talking to a brick wall. The best thing you can do now is be that rock hard support she will need and be that soft shoulder for her to cry on. Tyler I never would ever wish this on anyone and I have seen how destructive it can be. My prayers are with your sister as she goes through this journey. One step at a time. One day at a time.

 

[Tyler]

So I had to step away from this for a moment. I understand your pain my wife has previous relationships with guys like that. It still breaks my heart when I go to grab something and she’s near by she will flinch. Mind you I’m not that guy I’m the opposite. Here’s how I see it. It came with her family, her mother did it, her sister did it, your sister is doing it. It’s difficult to be the guy on the side out of the relationship remaining calm and collected for her. But SHE has to want it. SHE has to be the one to say you know what I’m done with these assholes and I want better for myself. It’s one thing to lecture someone about it or tell them about the flags but until they can see it and want it for themself you’re talking to a brick wall. The best thing you can do now is be that rock hard support she will need and be that soft shoulder for her to cry on. Tyler I never would ever wish this on anyone and I have seen how destructive it can be. My prayers are with your sister as she goes through this journey. One step at a time. One day at a time.

Well said, thank you. That is the hardest part; THEY have to want it. And until they do, all we can do is sit and listen.

 

[Tyler]

The meds got me like

Watch gkkulw | Streamable

Watch this video on Streamable.

streamable.com

 

[Dirtboy2009]

The meds got me like

Watch gkkulw | Streamable

Watch this video on Streamable.

streamable.com

Must be some good meds.

 

[TexMcGee]

 

[bonifacio]

Wrong thread.

I'm just hanging in there. Don't even like the truck. Don't have a favorite anything.

The pub guy is a tough one. Hate to see someone in that position, but also sometimes advice could push them away.

 

[Tyler]

Wrong thread.

I'm just hanging in there. Don't even like the truck. Don't have a favorite anything.

The pub guy is a tough one. Hate to see someone in that position, but also sometimes advice could push them away.

What is it about the truck?

About not having a favorite anything, is it possible for you to try a new hobby?

 

[bonifacio]

What is it about the truck?

About not having a favorite anything, is it possible for you to try a new hobby?

I rotate hobbies pretty regularly. When I get into something, it's a full dive. If it can go wrong it happens to me. Not my mentality, just happens. Maybe it's the probability being higher because it's a numbers thing. The favorite thing is something that's been on my mind for a while. Usually it's just preferences. Lost a lot of motivation and drive. The whole COVID thing didn't help. Work is just a negative environment. Stuck there. Back to 2-10 shift. Hard to meet people. Still broken from the last relationship which was 3-4 years ago. Just stuck in the live to work cycle. Not work to live. The only thing I have to look forward to is buying something, then it arriving. After that it's just tossed aside and just meh, whatever. I keep hobbies that give a sign of progression or feeling of accomplishment. Then just get too distracted and don't finish anything I started. Then get overwhelmed, then crawl into bed.

 

[Tyler]

I rotate hobbies pretty regularly. When I get into something, it's a full dive. If it can go wrong it happens to me. Not my mentality, just happens. Maybe it's the probability being higher because it's a numbers thing. The favorite thing is something that's been on my mind for a while. Usually it's just preferences. Lost a lot of motivation and drive. The whole COVID thing didn't help. Work is just a negative environment. Stuck there. Back to 2-10 shift. Hard to meet people. Still broken from the last relationship which was 3-4 years ago. Just stuck in the live to work cycle. Not work to live. The only thing I have to look forward to is buying something, then it arriving. After that it's just tossed aside and just meh, whatever. I keep hobbies that give a sign of progression or feeling of accomplishment. Then just get too distracted and don't finish anything I started. Then get overwhelmed, then crawl into bed.

Every single sentence could not have been more accurate to the way I function. I can completely relate and I haven't found out a solution yet.

 

[bonifacio]

Every single sentence could not have been more accurate to the way I function. I can completely relate and I haven't found out a solution yet.

I could go on and on about it. Not to be negative, but just to list and explain facts. I've gone through social workers, therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists... Many. They all tell me I am very self aware and agree with how I handle things. I admitted to having impulsive and excessive spending habits. I do. It's an issue. I was told I'm doing well and I should treat myself.... No. It's a problem. The worst thing that happened is I let the VA Primary talk me into taking Zoloft for my depression. It ruined my life. Got off of that and now I'm afraid to get off of what I'm on now fearing a downward spiral.

So perfect timing right? Just got home and tried to install the UpTop AAP Plates. Pretty sure they sent me the wrong plates. 8-12 weeks. Emailed at 12 weeks and 5 days... they asked me to send in a pic of the Bravo rack. So I did. 3 weeks and 5 days after that, the AAP Plates arrived. I emailed yesterday asking about it. Was told the plates will just line up. Figured maybe I just couldn't see. Well... verified they aren't the right plates. Held on by 6 bolts. 4 on the grab handles. 2 drilled into the Bravo. Could just say YOLO and start drilling, but don't want random ass holes. Now I'm just like fuck this truck. As I wait for a Lil B Bumper, AFE Y-Pipe, 6112/5160 and whatever else I ordered. It's just constant. I just want to catch a break. I'm not saying anything bad about UpTop Overland. They've been great. Shit happens, I get it. But why does it always have to be me? I just wanted to install some plates and have a small victory. But fuck me. I need to keep a log of all the ridiculous things that go wrong. Not to be negative and sink into some depression. But just to know the numbers. Try to understand logically what could be causing this. The data... My systematic mind.

 

[Tyler]

I've gone through social workers, therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists... Many. They all tell me I am very self aware and agree with how I handle things. I admitted to having impulsive and excessive spending habits. I do. It's an issue. I was told I'm doing well and I should treat myself.... No. It's a problem. The worst thing that happened is I let the VA Primary talk me into taking Zoloft for my depression. It ruined my life. Got off of that and now I'm afraid to get off of what I'm on now fearing a downward spiral.

How are you describing me so accurately? Damn.

 

[Tyler]

I just wanted to install some plates and have a small victory. But fuck me. I need to keep a log of all the ridiculous things that go wrong.

It’s def not just you though. I have the worst luck every. single. time. I try to work on my truck. I should actually make a blog post about all of it for some comic relief.

I dread working on my truck but I used to be a certified mechanic and still insist on doing my own work. But it’s a headache and a time consuming project every single time.